Grief

What is grief?

Grief is a normal reaction to the loss of someone, or something, that we care about. Although grief is very individual in how it looks and feels, some people experience grief as feelings of sadness, a sense of numbness, anger, anxiousness, being overwhelmed, or even relief. It is important to remember that there is no one way to grieve, or experience grief, and that it is perfectly normal to respond with emotions that you weren’t necessarily expecting.

Sometimes grief can also show up in how you’re feeling physically. You may find yourself feeling nauseous, or experiencing more headaches than usual. You may also find that your sleep is disrupted, or that you lose your appetite. If you are experiencing problems with sleep or eating well, then please feel free to access our coping strategies on these subjects.

Some people who experience the ending of a pregnancy due to fetal abnormality have a partner or family around them who are also grieving. Despite this you can still feel very isolated and alone in your grief. This too is normal. People have their own ways of grieving, and it’s important to respect each other’s grief process, and to comfort and give each other space as needed. It’s also important to try and share how you’re feeling, even if you feel people won’t understand. Support groups and forums can be very helpful in this sense.

Remember that there is no timeframe during which your grief should ease. This is an individual process, and if you find yourself struggling months or years later, it is okay to speak up and let people know.

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When it becomes something more – depression

Grief and depression can often look alike. However, grief often begins to improve over time, whereas depression is more persistent in nature. If you find that your feelings are not improving at all over time, and are interfering with your day to day life, or if you feel like you are finding day to day life a struggle as time goes on, it is important to seek help from your GP or a psychologist.

Beyond Blue provides a checklist for helping you decide whether a visit to your GP or a Psychologist may be beneficial. It can be accessed here. While this checklist does not tell you whether you have anxiety or depression, it can be used as a guide for deciding if you may benefit from some professional help with your grief.