Things you can say and do to help

Remember that people grieve differently, and that you may not grieve in the same way as your partner. Try to respect each other’s process, and be there for each other in the different ways that you need.

Remember that just being there goes a long way in supporting someone who is grieving. It sounds simple, but it is very effective.

Try not to rush back to work and your usual routine. This is an adjustment you are both going through, and taking some bereavement leave can allow you to grieve and to be there for your partner.

Take friends and family up on their offers of help. It can be tempting to try and manage on your own, but this help can free you up to support your partner, and rest yourself as you grieve.

Sleep may be disrupted for your partner as she adjusts to what her body is going through, and in her grief.

Your partner may lose her appetite during this period of grief, and adjustment. Making sure she heats regularly can be a practical way you can help her. Prepare some meals that you know she usually likes.

There can a degree of pain after the process, the degree of which will vary from woman to woman. Making sure she takes pain relief (paracetamol or ibuprofen, or pain relief prescribed by her doctor), at the times she is available can be a help. Ask her if she is comfortable, or whether she would like some pain relief.

Similarly, a heat pack or hot water bottle can be effective at reducing pain in the stomach area, and can also provide comfort.